So my primary purpose of this blog is to explore the meaning of love. Thus far I’ve tried to look at current issues surrounding love in the news, participated in a protest, looked at the internet’s affect on love and provided a resource to change legislation. However, my favorite part of the blog has been hearing from all of you. What I am learning is that while a universal feeling, love is deeply personal and different for every person. As some of you may already know I explored these differences by going directly to Loyola’s students. Like ‘The Inquiring Nuns‘ of Kartemquin Films I tackled the mean streets of Loyola, asking students about the meaning of love. Here is what you all had to say….
Friday, Loyola students took part in the National Day of Silence, a day dedicated to supporting and bringing attention to the hatred and prejudice endured by LGBT’s everyday. On this day people from across the country abstain from speaking to show their solace towards those whose voices are silenced. This year’s Day of Silence was in memory of Lawrence King, an 8th-grader shot by a classmate because he was gay.
The fight for gay rights is particularly close to my heart. I firmly believe love is what makes a family and guides relationships. Slowly with the support of events such as Day of Silence, gay rights are beginning to gain recognition in the courts and laws.
If you are a IL resident there is current legislation Senate Bill 2436/House Bill 1826 pending to grant same-sex couples “the security and certainty of knowing that their rights will be respected during a moment of crisis or grief.” The law will ensure all couples: emergency medical decision making power, access to state spousal benefits, access to domestic relations laws & procedures, access to civil actions dependent on spousal status, Will trusts & estates, tax relief at state and municipal level, domestic violence protection, spousal testimony privileges, and right to control dispositions of remains.
Last year while trying to find myself I took an adolescent development course as part of an education major’s requirement. For my final paper I researched young adult abusive relationships. As someone whose watched many a friend be part of an unstable and unfriendly relationship I found the research particularly interesting. I’m sharing this with you all, because I think it is something important that rarely gets the coverage, concern or recognition it deserves.
Abuse can be categorized as physical, sexual, psychological or emotional.Each form of abuse involves the intentional degradation and harm to one’s partner either physically or mentally.Recent studies indicate that 1 in 4 adolescents report being a victim of at least one form of abuse each year (cdc.gov, 2006).
1 in 5 adolescents reported being emotionally abused by their boyfriend or girlfriend (cdc.gov, 2006). This abuse consists of constant disregard for the other person’s feelings and self-worth. Someone who is emotionally abusive uses controlling methods such as language and mind games in order to make their partner feel humiliated, insecure and isolated.
The most common element of any abuser is his or her ability to manipulate the victim and create a sense or inequality and control within the relationship.
I feel very strongly that this is a topic everyone should be aware of, and educate themselves on. Here are some websites that provide background information on teen dating abuse as well as resources to stop it.
I miss the nineties (sigh).For some very strange reason finals season makes me particularly nostalgic. I’m not sure if it’s the added stress, intimidating time constraints or mountains of work, but whatever it is I feel a remarkable urge to escape the present and relive my past. This feeling often takes the form of listening to past musical loves. Take today for instance; in addition to studying my butt off I spent the day listening to the Spice Girls, O-Town and Britney Spears. Guilty pleasures, yes, but former loves as well.
It’s very interesting how deeply people can care about a particular sport, or band, or author and come back to that love years later, still loving it or loving it even more. Is this part of fan culture, or is this something deeper? What are some of your nostalgic loves? Why do you think there are some things we simply love forever?
So, I’ll be the first to admit that many nights when I’m supposed to be studying for a test the next morning, I can be found ‘taking a break’ and perusing my friends’ Facebook pages. Often this involves scanning my news feed to see what people are up to. Among the events being attended, newly posted photos, and messages are a scattering of hearts, some broken, others newly formed.
Not only is Facebook one of the biggest social websites, used by more than 67 million people, but it has also become the new millennium’s ‘arbiter of who is and isn’t an item‘
The days of varsity jackets, pledge pins and commitment rings as signs of an exclusive relationship have faded.
Replacing them, among other on-line dating resources, is Facebook. Today, many contend that your relationship isn’t official unless you’ve announced it on Facebook, making your dating public knowledge, even to those you don’t know well – or at all.
I recall when I started dating my boyfriend, and he immediately wanted to make it ‘official’ on Facebook, unfortunately for him, I wasn’t tuned into the new trend and actually rejected his request. Eventually we found a common ground; we’re both listed as ‘In a Relationship,’ but not specified to each other. However, I got to say I still don’t buy the idea that if your relationship isn’t official unless announced on Facebook. I mean think what that would mean for cheaters: “Ay baby. I’m sorry. I didn’t you didn’t I couldn’t go out with her; you rejected my Facebook request!!!”
Check out this Facebook group donated to the increases importance of Facebook relationship, maybe ironically so.
This group is for ALL of ya’ll constantly caking, chillin, or posted up with that same guy/girl…BUT still hadn’t made that concrete, computerized commitment…AND for those of you tryin to lock down your girl/man–tellin ‘em what to do without that Facebook title…FACE IT…with the growing age of technology, if it aint on facebook, IT DON’T COUNT!!!!!
The other day I was talking to my friend, whose going through a difficult time right now and she told me the one thing that would make her happy is to feel loved by someone who loves her more than anything else in the world. This got me thinking about love in relation to unconditional love, the difference between the two and what it means to love someone unconditionally.
So, naturally I consulted Dictionary.com, just for a basic understanding of how the world generally defines unconditional love. Heres what I came up with; unconditional love means: “affection with no limits or conditions; complete love.”
I agree with this definition, its solid, but I think theres more to it. I think loving someone without limits is much easier said than done, and I think it involves more compromises than most people are willing to make. I also think its difficult to say without conditions, because if you really love someone and want the best for them, then I think you are allowed room to push and prode so they get there.
I also think first and foremost that you have to love your self ‘unconditionally’ before you can expect anyone else to feel the same. I know its cheesy, but how can someone love you without conditions if you dont like who you are.
Isn’t that funny. We expect and demand someone to give us what we are not willing to give. Unconditional love. If we expect that from someone to make us feel safe and loved, wanted and desired, don’t we have to understand what it is? Don’t we have to feel it for ourselves before we can accept or expect anyone else to give it to us? Unconditional love: loving without limitations, conditions, or reservations. If we don’t provide that for ourselves, what is our point of reference to measure the love that is to fulfill our lives. How would we know what we are searching for or what we expect someone to give to us? How do we express to someone what we need?
I’m from Detroit, and among my city’s disappointing claims to fame like ‘Murder Capitol of the World’, and ‘Nation’s Most Dangerous City’, we can now proudly add to the list ‘Mayoral Sex Scandal.’ Making national news Kwame Kilpatrick, mayor of Detroit has recently been indicted for perjury and obstruction of justice after lying about his affair with Chief of Staff Christine Beatty during a court hearing.
In text messages acquired by the Detroit Free Press Kwame wrote to Beatty:
“I’m madly in love with you,” Kilpatrick wrote on Oct. 3, 2002.
“I hope you feel that way for a long time,” Beatty replied to the mayor. “In case you haven’t noticed, I am madly in love with you, too!”
In the past Kwame, has characterized himself as a “strong family man dedicated to his wife and three young sons.” However, his actions speak otherwise, but like we have seen in many public sex scandals his wife stood by his side. As I try to push my anger towards Kwame aside I attempt to look at his story from a perspective of love.
Here are the questions that come to mind:
Why did he cheat?
Is cheating an desire for more power over love?
Why did his wives stand by his side?
What message do his actions send to others, like his children?
These questions are difficult to answer because love and relationships are deeply personal. I think the best way to address them is to distinguish between sex and love. They are not the same thing! There is also a difference between infatuation and love. The most important thing about this scandal, besides the effects on the family, is how they influence a general understanding of love that is becoming increasingly publicized by the media: love is fluid, easy transferred and hopeless. Is this the message we want?
Whether we realize it or not, many of today’s soft and hard news stories have an underlying connection to love, relationships, and heartbreak. Part of this may be because ‘love’ and ’scandal’ often go hand in hand, creating notorious and popular entertainment that bolster network, and print viewership. People enjoy and can easily relate to media that takes this approach. The idea that there is a “love angle” may seem like a strange concept, but I think that if we look at our media from this perspective we would be better equipped to understand people’s preferences, and actions related towards love. Some of my posts will explore this ‘love angle,’ by looking at top stories in the news and criticizing them from a viewpoint of love.
Friday evening SAAG celebrated the finale of its Third Annual Sexual Assault Awareness Week. Students gathered at Bremner Lounge for an Open mic, march around Rogers Park, and speak out. Sexual assaults and rapes on college campuses continue to be a huge problem. Statistics report that 1 in 4 women are victims of rape or attempted rape. The event hosted by SAAG, was remarkably empowering and demonstrated the attention needed for this issue.
Below are videos from the march around Rogers Park
I recently came across a essay submitted to the New York Times Modern Love column. Besides finding it amusing in a sentimental kind of way, it hit strangely close to home. The essay entitled ‘I Married a Republican: There I said it’ can be generically summed up by its title: its about one person’s story depicting the difficulties surrounding bipartisan relationships.
“Oh, the people next door! They’re …,” she paused and lowered her voice, “ … Republican.” Everyone grimaced. The conversation quickly turned to complaints about the current administration. Before long it wasn’t just the administration being bashed but Republicans in general. I stood there nodding, my dirty secret lodged in my throat like a golf ball.
As I read the essay it got me thinking about my own relationship. I’m currently dating someone whose Muslim, big deal right, except I’m not – in fact I’m the polar opposite Unitarian Universalist. Picture this one of the most disciplined religions in the world (Islam) and one of the most eclectic and non-dogmatic (UU) combined as one. Sure it may be hard sometimes, but you can’t help who you love right? Our culture sometimes makes it difficult for people of different faiths, ethnicities, or party loyalties to feel welcome, but these differences are often superficial, and in the end don’t matter much
But it is a fair topic of discussion. So lets discuss!!!!
